Five traits of high earners that will make you not want to be one

Five traits of high earners that will make you not want to be one I am in the car about forty hours a week. I hired a driver. She wont drive all the times I have to drive. Of course she wont. Her life would suck. It doesnt matter. I have to be in the car for so much anyway. I cant ditch my sons therapy appointments. I need to be there to say, Of course nose picking is like cutting. Im an expert on cutting.  Digging out eyebrow hairs so they bleed or tearing cuticles so they hurt all day. I need to be there to translate for the therapist the world of comfort through pain. And the kids  cant learn their instruments if Im not with them for lessons. Suzuki is about the parent being a fucking partner with the teacher. So I have to be there for that too. Also, dont fucking give me suggestions about what you do with your kids on your ten-hour car trips. I am on a ninety-thousand-hour car trip to fucking Juilliard and it never ends. 1.  High earners have more  volatile emotions.   This Olympic season, can we please read about how the athletes Olympic dreams destroy their familys dreams of being normal? We will read about parents not being able to scrape together airfare to Sochi, but I wonder how they scraped together room and board at ten thousand ski resorts during training: the dirty underbelly of extreme talent. On the day I told you to sign up for my freelance course because I have such an amazingly fun, high-earning career that people want to learn to be like me, on that day I threw all the Rice Chex on the kitchen table and then I banged my fists on them to squash them. Does it count that I did not bang my fists on my kids? Does it count that Rice Chex are gluten-free? It takes a lot of parental discipline to keep the family gluten free. Unfortunatly it also takes a lot of family discipline to not scare the shit out of your kids with your anger, and obviously, I dont have that discipline. 2.  High earners are more apt to get energized from conflict. Which is why I had an appointment at the psychiatrist for myself on that Thursday. But on the way to the car, I see my sons boots, covered in pig manure. I call Matthew. Hes in the lobby of his therapists office.  He is getting therapy for anger management. I say, Why the fuck did you leave the boots outside instead of cleaning them? Now we have frozen poop. He says it was already frozen. What boots do you think hes gonna wear now? He has his other boots. Theyre rain boots. Theyll be okay. Youre nuts. Youre a lazy, negligent fuck head. I fucking hate you. I have to do everything. 3.  High earners are medicated more frequently. The kids hear that. They are standing in front of the door. One is crying.  They worry incessantly that Ill get a divorce again. So the kids are shaken and Matthew is probably using his anger management therapy session to talk about how I need anger management therapy more, but Ive been in therapy for 40 years. I am very aware of when my anger is out of control. And knowing is the first step, right? Its just that Ive been at that first step for ten years. At the psychiatrist it turns out my older sons anxiety meds will run out if I dont get a new prescription and this is actually the appointment for him. We share a psychiatrist. Thats right. My psychiatrist specializes in adolescents on the autistic spectrum because I am a good time manager. We sit down and my son is crying and the psychiatrist thinks its from the meds.  My son says, Its my moms yelling. And I say that probably Im the biggest problem he has in his life, but right now we just need to get a refill for him. The psychiatrist writes the refill and says, I think I need to see your mom alone. Im wearing a hooded down coat zipped up because I get really cold when I get stressed. You know Kenny in South Park wearing his coat everywhere? Thats me. Im Kenny. The psychiatrist is worried for the kids safety.  He tells me I need a break. I ask to go to the mental ward. He says okay. Its nice to know that I have such good insurance.  I say, Is there a mental ward where I can do my work? I think they all let you do that. Then why doesnt everyone go? We agree that Ill spend four days in a hotel in Chicago with my younger son, near cello lessons, so I dont have to drive. I tell my son itll be fun. People think we dont have a TV because I care about my kids mental development. But really we dont have a TV so my kids leave me alone when we are in a hotel. To my kids, a hotel is TV heaven. 4.  High earners dont  follow rules. The next day, five minutes into our trip, I sort of look left but not really. I still have my hood on. It is blocking my view. We crash. Loud. Glass. Airbags. My son says, Mom. The car is burning. We have to get out. He is right. I call a friend who is actually a former nanny because I dont actually have friends, just people I pay to do stuff. I need her to come get the kids because I dont want them to see the car blow up, but also, I think Im going to jail for driving on a suspended license. Matthew says, I dont think anyone will insure us anymore. He says this later. A lot later. When we agree that the best thing for me to do is not drive anymore. I cant pay attention. You would never think that someone who lives on a farm and homeschools would have a full-time driver. So I didnt want one. But really, each of us needs something different in order to do our lives. I spend a lot of time looking around at other people, trying to figure out how they do their lives and how I can copy it. But I need to trust my instincts more. I should not be driving. I should be paying an insane amount of money to have a driver available to me at all times. 5. Most top earners would trade oddities for mental stability if they could.   Often when Im coaching people I feel like a clairvoyant. Its incredibly easy for me to see what other people should be doing. I need so little time. My mind is not cluttered by common safety rules. Im afraid that the more extreme your incompetences are, the more extreme your earning power is. You just need to find it. If you have a normal brain then you have a normal skill set and a normal salary. You will not blow people away with your ability to see through them. Or anything else. You will look both ways at stop signs. We each think we want high earning power and special talent. But the cost is high. I think what you want is a good nights sleep. Without extra pills.